Senin, 28 November 2016

Wine's : Hardly Breath, You Got Me Babe!

Wine's : Hardly Breath, You Got Me Babe!: So now is 03.21 A.M WIB. I awake with anxiety of "too much loving you". Still remember how this universe supported us to finally m...

Minggu, 20 November 2016

Hardly Breath, You Got Me Babe!

So now is 03.21 A.M WIB.
I awake with anxiety of "too much loving you".
Still remember how this universe supported us to finally meet, because logically we had no something in common which made us being encountered. But see, now we are lovers for each other. Oh yes, almost forget, not everything needs logic as you said. Just want to let you know, I have only one personality. If people see more than one, there must be something wrong in the way I express it. I am "a crazy lover". This identity sticks in me like the skin on the body, like nails on our little fingers. Its power sometimes is too strong. So baby this is the consequences:
1. I hardly breath, when I meet person like you. I found your self such a great lover too. The way you suffer your self, the way you understand, the way you listen, control your ego or the even the way you cry. Yes those beautiful eyes and crooked smile of yours just drown me over and over again.
2. Can't stop prioritize you. Please don't blame on me for this, I can't do anything. Like everyday, my mind automatically will show all thing about you. More or less it's gonna be always like this : What are your activities, are you sick? Is everything OK? What about your parents, your brothers? Are they OK too?  Hmm babe , do you want join this? OK I'll help you out. Do you want me to cook something? Or  do you have free time, let's watch movies! Babe, come on let's play somewhere, you look so mess up today let's get fresh air outside! Babyyy, pray pray pray. Baby, you look so skinny, come come eat a lot more!!. Hmm too many things right? That are just 10% of things I think of you everyday. So don't get surprise!
3. Won't give up. Still remember how did we fight? Cried a lot, ego was culminated. We defensed ourselves. Argued, blamed, stubborn. I hate you!! You don't understand!
Not long after that.....
Cried again, and slowly approaching each other. Just want to say deeply sorry, just want to hug and say please forgive me. Just want to sweep your tears.
You've seen my worst ego when we fight, I am truly sorry but in the same time I want to say a bunch of thanks for not giving up on me, for not changing. I know you already tired, or even frustrated. But you choose to stay. So do I. Never giving up on you too.
4. Pray for you every-time. I know that you are not mine to keep that is why i pray for you. I am powerless baby so i humbly ask Him to protect you. Please do not let him down, give him bless and mercy  wherever he goes, give him fortune and safe him. That;s what I ask to our Lord, our creator everyday.

There are still another consequences of being your lover. But those points above are enough for now.
You got me!

Sabtu, 29 Oktober 2016

Bagaimanapun, Melepas Kerudung itu Tidak Benar

Saya memakai kerudung pada tanggal 28 Agustus 2015 dan dengan alasan personal , saya memutuskan untuk melepas kerudung 24 Agustus 2016, hampir genap satu tahun. Bukan karena orang lain, bukan karena urusan pekerjaan atau faktor eksternal, ini murni keputusan saya. Banyak sekali yang bertanya alasan saya melakukan ini. Tapi saya tidak pernah menjawab. Mengapa? Jelas saya sengaja. Saya tidak ingin ada pembenaran dalam bentuk apapun tentang ini, tidak ingin ada yang menuruti, itu saja. Karena hal ini tetap salah titik. 
Melalui tulisan ini, saya ingin menjelaskan semuanya. Pertama, saya salut kepada hijabers. Bukan mudah mempertahankan hijab untuk terus selalu dikenakan, bukan mudah memegang prinsip berhijab, bukan mudah membunuh rayuan fashion dan trend untuk melepas hijab, bukan mudah. 
Jangan melepasnya, jangan seperti saya, saya mohon. Kalian terlihat sangat apik, dan teguh pendirian saat mengenakannya.
Kedua, alasan saya melepas Hijab, karena saya merasa memaksakan diri. Saya belum siap. Ya terdengar klasik tapi sungguh, itu alasannya.  Iman saya lemah, ya betul saya akui. Alasan saya tidak kuat, seperti mempermainkan aturan Islam. Saya mohon ampun sebesar-besarnya kepada Dzat yang meciptakan saya, Alloh SWT. Tidak pernah ada niat sedikit pun untuk berpikir atau bahkan berperilaku seperti itu. Saya sudah mencoba, merasakan sendiri bagimana berhijab, untuk saat ini saya belum bisa melanjutkan. Tapi setiap hari saya berdoa agar diri saya lahir dan batin disipakan untuk mengenakan hijab lagi. Jika ada yang berkenan, tolong bantu saya belajar lebih dalam tentang Islam, supaya pengetahuan dan keimanan saya bertambah. 
Ketiga, saya sangat merasa lemah dalam hal Agama, saya ingin sekali belajar dan mengetahui hal yang saya tidak tahu. Saya ingin memiliki keyakinan karena saya berupaya atas keyakinan itu, bukan hanya diturunkan. Saya ingin bertanggung jawab atas apa yang saya percayai. Saya perlu waktu untuk itu, maka mohon panjangkanlah umur saya, ya Kholik.
Terakhir, saya membuka diri atas segala kritik dan saran atas semua bentuk perilaku saya, Saya mohon maaf apabila saya mengecewakan banyak pihak karena ini. Saya menganggap pihak-pihak yang berkomentar adalah mereka yang peduli terhadap saya. Upaya saya menjadi lebih baik tidak berhenti disini. Bnyak hal yang masih bisa saya upayakan untuk kemaslahatan bersama. Tidak lupa pula, untuk saling mengahargai dan mendoakan satu sama lain. Semoga kita semua dapat berkumpul di Syurga. Terimakasih.

Loving You is My Greatest Fault

(Hug you tight)
That's the only thing that I want now, hugging you like we never be separated anymore.
But we just can't. I only put my self focus on you and  writing all of my feeling here. This one might be my last sugar letter for you, so please take your time to read it 🙂
I LOVE YOU. You're the best thing that has happened in my last 7 seven months dear. My intention is only make you happy for having me. When you hold my hands, I swear to my self that I will be place for you to back home whenever you're tired of your things, be the shoulder where you can lay down your self, dry your tears when shit happens to you, act crazy together like children, preparing your meals everyday, make-sure you are healthy and so many other things. I'd love to do it for you. And I will miss my cutie Amay after all. 😓
Honey, all the thoughts and feelings that have been bubbling up inside me are finally overflowing. I understand that you will need to take your time trying to decide on what I am about to say.
If then one day you meet another girl, please choose the one who can make you happy and smile all day and night long. Because you deserve it. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of her heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with and if you're OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. OK, because  I don't want see you sad . 😶
Baby, I am not scared any more for loosing you. Because no matter what, my feeling will be kept safety in my heart, only me who know how strong it is.  I am not afraid to try to silently keep my love for you. 🙃One day you will say, "Wine you such a great lover !"
Today I love you more than ever; I want you more than ever. I'm a girl of fifty years of age coming to you, feeling like a teenager in love. I love you with all my heart. I have always loved you.

Honey, when the rainbow ends, I will still be in your back but you never can see me, you just can feel me.
All my love,
Wine (Yours)

Rabu, 04 Mei 2016

"Why Do The Netherlands Government Supports Sport ?"

     Another excitement founded!!
    Yesterday, we went to Leiden. We visited the municipality of Leiden who oversees a unique project to promote sport.  The most interesting part was when the officer explained the reason why the gov in the Netherlands is so concern in sport. They even spent 2 million Euro per year for this.  The reasons are:
1. Value behind the sport.
Sport trains people to have leadership, be sportive, become decision maker, solution oriented, concentrate, etc. Everyone has those value if they are willing to activate it. Moreover the children, because " preparing great children is much more easier rather than repairing broken adult". It made me so exited to develop more my street children project, cause i gain another supporting reason of why do I have to support children, especially the unfortunate one. 
2. Health.
It's clear about healthy life-style,  moreover the gov here also implement healthy food consumption in their canteen. The way they create the awareness  is so impressed me, because in one click, everyone in the office are following the policy to consume healthy food, no snack and less sugar.
3. Economic power.
The more healthy people, the less health insurance. ( the money back ? )
4.  The more we move ( sport ), the smarter they are.
An investigation said the more we move, the smarter we will be. It was proven that sport can enhance our intelligence. 

       Another impressed moment was when the officer explained us that they implement "bottom up planning". It means, the society also can contribute their ideas. One of the example : there were 5 kids on 2011 came to the them and asked for  the support because they wanted to make football tournament, It was started from the small level, the gov only supported balls and water. Then another 20 kids also came to held the same thing, and the gov tried to support more. For this one, they supported balls, water, t-shirt and sponsors. Day by day, the kids grown and they were independent. Then the gov got out and let those people run the sport by their own. This concept is was duplicated in another neighborhood. This what they called as "Combination Functionaries " .
      See, how they listen and support the sport, even they listen to the kids. They are able to see the important of sport. 
On the other division, they also support the children in finding their sport passion. They might like, skating,  hockey,  futsal, swimming, running, etc. The gov provided the courses with the cheaper fee, and they also give free tuition fee for the unfortunate children. Because again they see that preparing the qualify children is worth it than repairing broken adult.
      I gained so many knowledge and good impression along the discussion yesterday. I plan to deliver this system to my local government once I arrive in Bandung. That's why I am exited in every program that I join in this Homestay program. Because I gain another perspective and experience that I couldn't get in the other platform.

So do not hesitate to join us on
#ImGMBer #RoadToYAYLF2016

"Fid Your Successor Before You Die"

Today, we visited Wageningen University. I got big task to concern in. It is my successor. Why ?
I talked with Mr. Sakti Hutabarat ( PhD Candidate from Riau who is doing research in Wageningen ). We did a deep conversation :
Mr. Sakti : Wine, you are lucky cz you aware that your life must be beneficial for others in your age now , when I was in your age I just thought about my self, so selfish, till I get old now, I just realize that i will die soon and I'm questioning my self, what I've done for my surrounding, I did nothing and it's so ashamed.
Wine : Luckily we have a platform to develop our ideas to help people Mr. Sakti, which is GMB it self.
Mr. Sakti : Can you imagine, if the value in GMB is duplicated in every youth in Indonesia, there will be no any injustice, corruption, poverty, starving and other problems. So you have to start to duplicate these values . So there will be many Wine, many Edi Fadhil and Pandu Padarwin who can unite for better Indonesia.
Wine : We are in our process to spread this value Sir.
Mr. Sakti : Spreading is not enough, you have to personally find your successor, you must have someone who knows what you know, who experiences what you felt, so the chain is connected. Then when you die, your ideas will not die, your legacy will still exist.
From these conversation then I realize while we are young, we have to gain knowledge and experience as many as we can, and share it to others. I realize I am not a scientist who discover a new thing or an innovation theory. Before I die, I have to do something more to be remembered as a good human being. Through my successor, I can keep my idea stand still, the legacy of what I've done, and my project will keep continuing even if I die. One thing for sure, surely I have to equip my self with skill, values, knowledge and experiences before I find my successor ,. I let you know 4 values that I really holding on tightly. " Living beyond yourself, Sharing in diversity, Start from your self and Volunteerism". I'm still learning to activate those values because I believe great leaders need it.
While we still have chance to grow, I share a platform for you to get those values, we learn and share together. Check this out like really by now, you won't regret it.
‪#‎ImGMBer‬ ‪#‎RoadToYAYLF2016‬

Foto Wine Tesa.Foto Wine Tesa.

" Personal Touch Is Always Best"

        Everyone is taking a role to be a bridge. Yes, the bridge of God's gift. Here is one of them, a fresh minded person, care taker, idealist, great father and etc ( so many things about you anyway ). He helps me and my team here in the Netherlands, take care of us, cook for us and sometime he also accompany us in doing our program here, even I know he is also very busy with his own business. I even can't imagine if he did not help us here, how will we survive here hehehe
       One day, I had a practice about my presentation, and he gave me an advice : " You have to communicate it from your heart, because personal touch is always best". On the next day, I implemented his advice, and yes I agree, the message is getting stronger.
" When you believe in something, yes you have to show how much you believe it sincerely from your heart, then the other will also feel it strongly"
Super Bdankt ....